Skip to main navigation menu Skip to main content Skip to site footer
FrancoAngeli Journals

Articoli scientifici

1/2020: Modelli della Mente

From emotions to meaning: Romantic love and sexuality integrated and directed according to values

DOI
https://doi.org/10.3280/mdm1-2020oa10909
Submitted
dicembre 23, 2020
Published
2020-12-23

Abstract

In order to understand the transition from a life driven by emotions and desires (with particular attention to sexual ones) to a life driven by projects and values, we will use the frameworks of interpersonal motivational systems (IMSs), of which the sexuality is part, and of metacognitive functioning that allows for emotional knowledge, understanding and regulation. We will provide a central role to consciousness,
as a uniquely human quality, which allows the development of motivations and intentions not otherwise replicable in the rest of the animal world and which permits us to guide our behaviors by choosing which motivational system to support, contain or manage and, above all, why.

References

  1. Bartholomew K. & Horowitz M. (1991). Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61(2), 226-244. DOI: 10.1037/0022-3514.61.2.226.
  2. Bartholomew K. (1990). Avoidance of intimacy: An attachment perspective. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 7(2), 147-178. DOI: 10.1177/0265407590072001.
  3. Birnbaum G.E. (2007). Beyond the borders of reality: Attachment orientations and sexual fantasies. Personal Relationships, 14(2), 321-342. DOI: 10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00157.x.
  4. Birnbaum G.E. (2010). Bound to interact: The divergent goals and complex interplay of attachment and sex within romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 27(2), 245-252. DOI: 10.1177/02654075 09360902.
  5. Birnbaum G.E. (2014). Sexy building blocks: The contribution of the sexual system to attachment formation and maintenance. In Mikulincer M. & Shaver P.R. (Eds.), The Herzliya series on personality and social psychology. Mechanisms of social connection: From brain to group (p. 315-332). American Psychological Association. DOI: 10.1037/14250-018.
  6. Birnbaum G.E. (2015). On the convergence of sexual urges and emotional bonds: The interplay of the sexual and attachment systems during relationship development. In Simpson J.A. & Rholes W.S. (Eds.), Attachment theory and research: New directions and emerging themes (p. 170-194). Guilford Press.
  7. Birnbaum G.E. (2016). Attachment and sexual mating: The joint operation of separate motivational systems. In Cassidi J. & Shaver P.R. (Eds), Handbook of Attachment, Third Edition: Theory, Research, and Clinical Applications (3th ed., pp. 464-206). Guilford Press.
  8. Birnbaum G.E. (2018). The Fragile Spell of Desire: A Functional Perspective on Changes in Sexual Desire Across Relationship Development. Personality and social psychology review, 22(2), 101-127. DOI: 10.1177/1088868317715350.
  9. Birnbaum G.E. & Finkel E.J. (2015). The magnetism that holds us together: sexuality and relationship maintenance across relationship development. Current Opinion in Psychology, 1, 29-33. DOI: 10.1016/j.copsyc.2014.11.009.
  10. Birnbaum G.E. & Gillath O. (2006). Measuring subgoals of the sexual behavioral system: What is sex good for? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23(5), 675-701. DOI: 10.1177/0265407506065992.
  11. Birnbaum G.E. & Reis H.T. (2019). Evolved to be connected: the dynamics of attachment and sex over the course of romantic relationships. Current opinion in psychology, 25, 11-15. DOI: 10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.02.005.
  12. Birnbaum G.E., Kanat-Maymon Y., Mizrahi M., Recanati M. & Orr R. (2019a). What Fantasies Can Do to Your Relationship: The Effects of Sexual Fantasies on Couple Interactions. Personality & social psychology bulletin, 45(3), 461-476. DOI: 10.1177/0146167218789611.
  13. Birnbaum G.E., Mikulincer M. & Gillath O. (2011). In and Out of a Daydream: Attachment Orientations, Daily Couple Interactions, and Sexual Fantasies. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37(10), 1398-410. DOI: 10.1177/0146167211410986.
  14. Birnbaum G.E., Mizrahi M. & Reis H.T. (2019b). Fueled by desire: Sexual activation facilitates the enactment of relationship-initiating behaviors. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(10), 3057-3074. DOI: 10.1177/0265407518811667.
  15. Birnbaum G.E., Reis H.T., Mikulincer M., Gillath O. & Orpaz A. (2006). When sex is more than just sex: Attachment orientations, sexual experience, and relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(5), 929-943. DOI: 10.1037/0022-3514.91.5.929.
  16. Birnbaum G.E., Simpson J.A., Weisberg Y.J., Barnea E. & Assulin-Simhon Z. (2012). Is it my overactive imagination? The effects of contextually activated attachment insecurity on sexual fantasies. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 29(8), 1131-1152. DOI: 10.1177/026540751 2452978.
  17. Birnbaum G.E., Svitelman N., Bar-Shalom A. & Porat O. (2008). The thin line between reality and imagination: Attachment orientations and the effects of relationship threats on sexual fantasies. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34(9), 1185-1199. DOI: 10.1177/0146167208319692.
  18. Bowlby J. (1969). Attachment and Loss. Vol. 1: Attachment. Hogarth Press.
  19. Bowlby J. (1973). Attachment and Loss. Vol. 2: Separation: Anxiety and Anger. Hogarth Press.
  20. Bowlby J. (1980). Attachment and Loss. Vol. 3: Loss: Sadness and Depression. Hogarth Press.
  21. Bowlby J. (1988). A Secure Base. Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. Routledge.
  22. Bruner J. (1990). Acts of Meaning. Harvard University Press.
  23. Cacioppo S., Bianchi-Demicheli F., Frum C., Pfaus J.G. & Lewis J.W. (2012). The common neural bases between sexual desire and love: a multilevel kernel density fMRI analysis. The journal of sexual medicine, 9(4), 1048-1054. DOI: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2012.02651.x.
  24. Cantelmi T. & Lambiase E. (2007). Legame affettivo e comportamento sessuale. Psicoterapia e Scienze Umane, 41(2), 205-228.
  25. Carcione A., Nicolò G. & Semerari A. (Eds). (2016). Curare i casi complessi: La terapia metacognitiva interpersonale dei Disturbi di personalità. Laterza.
  26. Cassidy J. & Shaver P.R. (Eds). (1999). Handbook of attachment: Theory, research, and clinical applications. Guilford.
  27. Cooper M.L., Pioli M., Levitt A., Talley A.E., Micheas L. & Collins N.L. (2006). Attachment Styles, Sex Motives, and Sexual Behavior: Evidence for Gender-Specific Expressions of Attachment Dynamics. In Mikulincer M. & Goodman G.S. (Eds.), Dynamics of romantic love: Attachment, caregiving, and sex (pp. 243-274). The Guilford Press.
  28. Cozolino L. (2014). The Neuroscience of Human Relationships. Attachment and the Developing Social Brain. Norton & Company.
  29. Crittenden P. (2002). Transformaciones en las relaciones de apego en la adolescencia: Adaptación frente a necrsidad de psicoterapia. Revista de Psicoterapia, 12(48), 33-62.
  30. Damasio A. (1999). The Feeling of What Happens. Body and. Emotion in the Making of Consciousness, Harcourt.
  31. Damasio A. (2003). Looking for Spinoza. Joy, Sorrow, and the Feeling Brain. Harcourt Inc.
  32. Damasio A. (2010). Self Come to Mind. Constructing the Conscious Brain. Pantheon Books.
  33. Dennett D.C. (2003). Freedom Evolves. Viking Press.
  34. Dewitte M. (2012). Different perspectives on the sex-attachment link: towards an emotion-motivational account. Journal of sex research, 49(2-3), 105-124. DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2011.576351.
  35. Eagle M. (2005). Attaccamento e sessualità. Psicoterapia e scienze umane, 39(2), 151-164.
  36. Edelman G.M. (1989). The Remembered Present. A Biological Theory of Consciousness. Basic Books.
  37. Edelman G.M. & Tononi G. (2000). A Universe of Consciousness. Basic Books.
  38. Falcone M., Marraffa M. & Carcione A. (2003). Metarappresentazione e psicopatologia. In Dimaggio G., & Semerari A. (Eds), I Disturbi di personalità. Modelli e trattamento (pp. 43-76). Laterza.
  39. Farrugia C.E. & Hohaus L. (1998, November 25-27). Conceptualising the Pair-Bond: Attachment, Caregiving, and Sexuality as predictors of Intimacy in Adult Romantic Relationships [Paper presentation]. 6th Australian Institute of Family Studies Conference. Melbourne.
  40. Feeney J. & Noller P. (1995). Lo stile di attaccamento come predittore delle relazioni di coppia negli adulti. In Carli L. (Ed), Attaccamento e rapporto di coppia (pp. 127-154). Raffello Cortina.
  41. Flavell J. (1979). Metacognition and Metacognitive Monitoring. A New Area of Cognitive-Developmental Inquiry. American Psychologist, 34(10), 906-911. DOI: 10.1037/0003-066X.34.10.906.
  42. Fonagy P., Gergely G., Jurist E.L. & Target M. (2002). Affect Regulation, Mentalization, and the Development of the Self. Other Press.
  43. Fonagy P., Target M., Steel M. & Gerber A. (1995). Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Developmental Psychopathology. In Cicchetti D. & Cohen D. (Eds), Developmental Psychopathology: Theory and method (2nd ed.). Wiley Publications.
  44. Gillath O., Mikulincer M., Birnbaum G.E. & Shaver P.R. (2008). When sex primes love: subliminal sexual priming motivates relationship goal pursuit. Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin. 34(8), 1057-1069. DOI: 10.1177/0146167208318141.
  45. Guidano V.F. (1991). The Self in Process. Guilford.
  46. Guidano V.F. (2007). Psicoterapia Cognitive Post-Razionalista (A. Quiñones Bergeret, Ed.). FrancoAngeli.
  47. Hazan C. & Shaver P.R. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524. DOI: 10.1037/0022-3514.52.3.511.
  48. Holmes J. (2007). Sense and Sensuality: Hedonic Intersubjectivity and the Erotic Imagination. In D. Diamond, S. J. Blatt & J. D. Lichtenberg (Eds.), Attachment & Sexuality (pp. 137-160). Analytic Press, Inc.
  49. Kleeman J. (1975). Genital self-stimulation in infant and toddler girls. In I. Marcus & J. Franklin (Eds), Masturbation: From Infancy to Senescence (pp. 77-106). International Universities Press.
  50. Lambiase E. & Cantelmi T. (2015). Affettività e sessualità. In Cantelmi T. & Lambiase E. (Eds.), Schiavi del sesso (pp. 127-152). Alpes.
  51. LeDoux J.E. (2002). Synaptic Self. How Our Brains Become Who We Are. Viking Press.
  52. Lichtenberg J.D. (1989). Psychoanalysis and Motivation. Analytic Press, Inc.
  53. Lichtenberg J.D. (2008). Sensuality and Sexuality Across the Divide of Shame. Analytic Press, Inc.
  54. Lichtenberg J.D., Lachmann F.M. & Fosshage J.L. (1992). Self and Motivational Systems. Toward a Theory of Psychoanalytic Technique. Analytic Press, Inc.
  55. Lichtenberg J.D., Lachmann F.M. & Fosshage J.L. (1996). Psychoanalytic inquiry book series, Vol. 16. The clinical exchange: Techniques derived from self and motivational systems. Analytic Press, Inc.
  56. Lichtenberg J.D., Lachmann F.M. & Fosshage J.L. (2011). Psychoanalysis and Motivational Systems: A New Look. Routledge. DOI: 10.4324/9780 203844748.
  57. Lichtenstein H. (1961). Identity and sexuality: A study of their inter-relationship in man. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 9, 179-260. DOI: 10.1177/000306516100900201.
  58. Lieberman A.F. (1996). Aggression and sexuality in relation to toddler attachment: Implications for the caregiving system. Infant Mental Health Journal, 17(3), 276-292. DOI: 10.1002/(SICI)1097-0355(199623)17:3 < 276::AID-IMHJ6>3.0.CO;2-M.
  59. Liotti G. (1999). Discussione dell’articolo di Shane M., Shane E., Gales M.: “Sesso, sessualizzazione e il feargasm”. Rivista Italiana Telematica di Psicologia Psicoanalitica del Sé, Intersoggettività, Psicoanalisi Relazionale, 3(1).
  60. Liotti G. (2001). Le opere della coscienza: Psicopatologia e psicoterapia nella prospettiva cognitivo evoluzionista. Raffaello Cortina.
  61. Liotti G. (2005). La dimensione interpersonale della coscienza. Carocci.
  62. Liotti G. & Monticelli F. (Eds). (2008). I sistemi motivazionali nel dialogo clinico. Il manuale AIMIT. Raffaello Cortina.
  63. Liotti G. & Monticelli F. (Eds). (2014). Teoria e clinica dell’alleanza terapeutica. Una prospettiva cognitivo evoluzionista. Raffaello Cortina.
  64. Liotti G., Cortina M. & Dazzi N. (2008). Intersoggettività e sistemi motivazionali. Una prospettiva evoluzionista e neojacksoniana. In Liotti G. & Monticelli F. (Eds.), I sistemi motivazionali nel dialogo clinico. Il manuale AIMIT (pp. 20-42). Raffaello Cortina.
  65. Mahler M.S., Pine F. & Bergman A. (1975). The psychological birth of the human infant: Symbiosis and individuation. Basic Books. DOI: 10.1080/21674086.1976.11926782.
  66. Main M. (1991). Metacognitive Knowledge, Metacognitive Monitoring, and Singular (Coherent) vs. Multiple (Incoherent) Model of Attachment. In Parkes C.M., Stevenson-Hinde J., & Morris P. (Eds.), Attachment Across Life Cycle. Routledge.
  67. Manaresi F., Cotugno A., Onofri A. & Tombolini L. (2008). Le forme della mentalizzazione nei contesti interpersonali. Uno studio sui rapporti fra sistemi motivazionali e funzioni metacognitive. In Liotti G. & Monticelli F. (Eds.), I sistemi motivazionali nel dialogo clinico. Il manuale AIMIT (pp. 65-82). Raffaello Cortina.
  68. Mikulincer M. (2006). Attachment, Caregiving, and Sex within Romantic Relationships. A Behavioral Systems Perspective. In Mikulincer M. & Goodman G.S. (Eds.), Dynamics of romantic love: Attachment, caregiving, and sex (pp. 23-44). The Guilford Press.
  69. Mikulincer M., & Goodman G.S. (2006). The Dynamics of Romantic Love: Attachment, caregiving and sex. The Guilford Press.
  70. Mikulincer M. & Shaver P.R. (2016). Attachment and Sex. In Mikulincer M. & Shaver P.R. (Eds.), Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change (2nd ed., pp. 372-394). The Guilford Press.
  71. Panksepp J. (1998). Affective Neuroscience. The Foundations of Human and Animal Emotions. Oxford University Press.
  72. Panksepp J. (2005). Affective consciousness: Core emotional feelings in animals and humans. Consciousness and Cognition, 14(1), 30-80. DOI: 10.1016/j.concog.2004.10.004.
  73. Panksepp J. (2011). Cross-species affective neuroscience decoding of the primal affective experiences of humans and related animals. PLoS One, 6(9). DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0021236.
  74. Péloquin K., Brassard A., Delisle G. & Bédard M.-M. (2013). Integrating the attachment, caregiving, and sexual systems into the understanding of sexual satisfaction. Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science / Revue canadienne des sciences du comportement, 45(3), 185-195. DOI: 10.1037/a0033514.
  75. Putnam H. (1988). Representation and Reality, MIT Press.
  76. Roiphe H. & Galenson E. (1981). Infantile Origins of Sexual Identity. International Universities Press.
  77. Rosenfield I. (1992). The Strange, Familiar and Forgotten. Basic Books.
  78. Searle J.R. (2001). Rationality in Action. MIT Press.
  79. Semerari A. (1999b). Deficit di regolazione emotive. In Semerari A. (Ed.), Psicoterapia cognitiva del paziente grave. Metacognizione e relazione terapeutica (pp. 313-342). Raffaello Cortina.
  80. Semerari A. (Ed). (1999a). Psicoterapia cognitiva del paziente grave. Metacognizione e relazione terapeutica. Raffaello Cortina.
  81. Shaver P.R., & Hazan C. (1992). Adult romantic attachment process: theory and evidence. In Perlman D. & Jones W. (Eds.), Advances in Personal Relationship (pp. 29-70). Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
  82. Shaver P.R., Hazan C. & Bradshaw W. (1988), Love as attachment. The integration of three behavioral systems. In Sternberg R. & Barnes M. (Eds), The Psychology of Love. Yale University Press.
  83. Siegel D.J. (2012). The Developing Mind (2nd ed). The Guilford Press.
  84. Siegel D.J. (2013). Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain. Penguin.
  85. Stern D. (1985). The Interpersonal World of the Infant. Basic Books.
  86. Tomasello M. (1999). The Cultural Origins of Human Cognition. Harvard University Press.
  87. Tomasello M., Carpenter M., Call J., Behne T. & Moll H. (2005). Understanding and sharing intentions: The origins of cultural cognition. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 28(5), 675-735. DOI: 10.1017/S0140525X05000129.
  88. Tombolini L. & Liotti G. (2000). L’influenza delle esperienze di attaccamento infantili sulla sessualità adulta. Rivista di Sessuologia, 24(4), 317-330.
  89. Weinstein L. (2007). When Sexuality Reaches Beyond the Pleasure Principle: Attachment, Repetition, and Infantile Sexuality. In Diamond D., Blatt S.J., & Lichtenberg J.D. (Eds.), Attachment & Sexuality (pp. 107-136). The Analytic Press.
  90. Weiss R. (1982). Attachment in adult life. In Parkes C.M. & Stevenson-Hinde J. (Eds.), The Place of Attachment in Human Behavior (pp. 171-184). Basic Books.
  91. Wolff P. (1966). The causes, controls and organization of behaviors in the neonate. Psychology Issues, 5(1), 1-105.

Metrics

Metrics Loading ...